This weekend, I will be taking my 3 year old son to see the newest film of the franchise that rocked my world as a child.  His first movie in the theater was The Force Awakens which I think will be pretty cool for him to tell people looking back on his own childhood.

Today, I initiated a conversation with a man my age who I thought to be a fairly interesting dude who I thought shared some similar interests.  And I was utterly disappointed at what happened.

He said, “People are always kind of shocked when I say this, but I have never watched one of those movies.”

My typical response to someone in this situation would be to slap them in the face and tell them to go back to Russia.  In this instance, I had to hold back because he had stuck a series of acupuncture needles in my back.  Had he not placed me in this precarious position, I would have delivered a blow sending him to a galaxy far far away.

I have so many great memories involving this franchise from the movies to the toys and games to the numerous conversations I have had regarding the finer points of the films.  I have argued with my friends over the prequels (episodes I, II, III for you ladies who always get the numbers confused).  As far as I’m concerned, in my universe, the prequels are to be shunned and left to rot.  And, Hayden Christensen would not be allowed into the Mos Eisley Cantina because he is a soulless robot.

Every year it is my personal Christmas tradition to watch the original trilogy and rediscover the joys of my youth while simultaneously finding new things enjoy.

For instance, why does Chewbacca have a laser crossbow?  Sure, it looks cool.  But why does such a weapon even exist?  You don’t see any characters with a laser bow.  The mechanics of a crossbow that generate the force to launch the bolt (a.k.a. crossbow arrow…those pretentious Europeans) would be completely pointless on a laser crossbow.  A creature that looks like Bigfoot wouldn’t seem to be one to care about appearances and style.  So, the question remains unanswered.

This year, I noticed a point of interest in a conversation between Luke and Aunt Beru.  I have recreated this discussion with mostly my own added dialogue.

Aunt Beru: Be sure to get one that speaks Bocce.

Luke: You want it to speak badminton too?  How about soccer?  We could really use someone that will help us with the offsides calls.  Uncle Owen always stands down by the goal and refuses to believe he’s not allowed to.  I think he’s just afraid if he starts trying to play defense he’ll get burnt. (pun intended)

Aunt Beru: Fine, Luke.  Just get out of here.  I have to get started on the sand cows.  You know the blue milk takes forever to collect.

I think I could really do a lot with the franchise if Disney would answer my daily letters.