Is there a reason we only use the word “manifesto” in relation to some terrible crime?  According to my deep internet research involving a google search, the word is supposed to mean a public declaration of beliefs, policies, intentions, motivations, opinions.  So, by that definition, every place on the internet where a person can enter a post of their opinion could technically be a manifesto.  Which means Facebook is website of manifestos (or is it “manifestoes”)?  “Manifestos” looks like a word that would describe a variety of asbestos, but it still seems more right than “manifestoes”.

Anyway, this would also extend to YouTube comments and the worst of the worst…websites with community forums.   The odd part of this definition is that it would seem to exclude many of the written opinions and beliefs of criminals that commit mass murders and such.  I say that because it seems the authorities find these “manifestos” later after the crimes have been committed and the guilty parties are dead or in jail.  The criminals never posted or declared their opinions in full in a public forum.  In other words, if a tree falls on a bear in the woods, does it make a smell?  You understand what I’m saying.  The manifesto is publicly declared by the media/authorities, but often not by the criminal.  So until that point, these ideas and opinions are just unpublished internet comments.  It doesn’t count as a manifesto until it declared publicly.

With that being said, I will soon bring you my own personal private manifesto.  It’s still in the works.  I figured it could wait until a more substantial and important time of year.  I hope to make my declarations on New Year’s Day in 2020.  While other people share their resolutions of which they have none or limited intent on seeing through, I will be sharing the most influential and historic document ever put to the internet.  It is my manifesto destiny to do so.  And the nicest part is that it will not come before, on or after some heinous crime.  It will be a crime-free manifesto.  Also, it will be gluten free.  Bonus.  However, it will be manufactured in a facility that processes eggs, milk and tree nuts.  Hey, you can’t have everything.