Many parents set goals for their kids and their future.  Here are some examples of the normal ones:

1. Achieving academic success, going to college or trade school.
2. Achieving success in sports including being a top player on the high school team and potentially having a chance to play at the college level.
3. Having a successful, stable, well-paying job/career.
4. Moving into a house adjacent to the parents’ house or potentially to a family compound and especially if it is to the chagrin of the parents-in-law.
5. Their kids will have children that will come to the parents house and can be pumped full of sugar and then sent back home.

For a full list please send $100 to Me.

I realize those are nice goals, but they don’t seem to be the ones that are most important to me at this moment.  Having two kids of 6 and 4 years old, I have come up with a personal goal list I hope to accomplish with them. Please see below.

Goals for My Kids:

1. They will like rock music.
2. They will be able to beat Shao Khan in Mortal Kombat.
3. They will be cooler and less introverted than me.
4. They will understand that the original Star Wars trilogy is the greatest part of the franchise followed by Rogue One, The Force Awakens is okay, and the other movies should not be spoken of unless in a negative way or to demonstrate the lesson that more is not necessarily better and corporate greed is the downfall of most sequels.
5. They will understand that when I say something, repeating it back to me and adding the word “buttcrack” to the end is funny, but it is not the highest form of humor and they should strive for more.

We don’t have time to cover each of these in detail although I feel I have pretty much spoken my peace on #4.  I would like to take the first goal and dive into it a little more right now.

When my oldest son was 3 or 4, he didn’t seem to have a problem with rock music.  However, at some point since then, he decided he didn’t like it anymore. We would turn on some music and he would say things like, “I don’t like rock.”  At first, I thought maybe he had an issue with rocks which would explain why he would always pick them up and throw them. That wasn’t it though. Then, I thought maybe he didn’t like Dwayne Johnson.  But I quickly dismissed the idea because I have never met someone who didn’t like The Rock. My friend suggested maybe he didn’t like the movie The Rock, but I told him my son hadn’t seen it yet. Apparently, that was a dealbreaker for our friendship.  Turns out, my son was talking about the rock music genre.

He started saying things like, “I don’t like the drums.”  What?  You don’t like drums?  Who are you?  

Then he said, “I don’t like the guitar.”  I really didn’t understand what went wrong and how I was failing as a parent.

I can honestly say my parents did a fantastic job of setting me up in terms of my musical interests.  My mom brought me up on the golden oldies. My dad brought me up on classic rock. I hope that in the case of my kids (especially my oldest) that this rebellion against rock is just a passing fancy.  The first CD I ever picked out for myself was Tha Dogg Pound: Dog Food. I know what you’re thinking. This guy kicks it old school. And you are correct. My second CD was Warren G. Regulators…mount up.  Although there continues to be a place in my heart for certain rap music, I found my way back to loving oldies and classic rock music.  

So now that my son has developed a problem with rock music, I am hopeful this will change in time.  I am a little concerned for what contemporary music he may find his way to because I am now that guy who complains about the “lack of good music these days”.  However, I must admit a bad parenting moment that recently happened. The kids and I were in my car heading to the aircraft carrier to pilot some fighter jets (I have no idea what we were actually doing).  I turned on Roxeanne by The Police which was on a CD I recently acquired. Yes, I still sometimes buy CDs and I listen to them on a regular basis. My oldest said, “I don’t like rock. Change it.”  

My youngest son and I drove around for thirty minutes or so to give me time to cool off.  When we came back to where I left the other kid on the side of the road, I could tell he had adequate time to think about what he said.  His tears were dry, but obviously they had been flowing within the last few minutes. I told him I was sorry I had to leave him there, but I don’t allow people to disrespect The Police in my vehicle.  I bought him a new Hot Wheels car and we agreed not to tell Mommy about the incident. The next time I turned on The Police, he didn’t say a word. And that my friends, is progress.