Back in Halloweentime, the best time of the year, I decided to read some books. I always find myself in the midst of the Halloween season hungry for horror entertainment. I enjoy most of it in the form of movies and in 2020 I made a goal to watch at least 100 titles. Maybe you remember this quest or maybe you have forgotten, perhaps because 2020 was…(you know) or because you don’t remember anything you read here. If that is the case, I get it. I can’t remember most of what I say or write, but that is for a blog about memory loss so allow me to move on. In that special time of year, I chose quite of few horror movies to consume with an emphasis on watching a bunch that were new to me. The final tally was 10 such films, including The Shining. At the end of the season, I made a commitment to read the book The Shining. I had heard good things from several sources and it was available through the app I use for listening to audiobooks when I travel during the day for work. No one cares, Dad. Ok, ok.

I listened to the book and I thought it was amazing. One of the better books I have ever read, I would even say. And I’m sorry to say to those who love the movie, it doesn’t really do the book justice. I mean, why couldn’t Kubrik fit everything in there? It was only like 16 hours worth of auditory material. That’s basically the same as a Lord of the Rings extended edition movie. But whatever. Who is Kubrik anyway? He totally missed what 2001 was going to be like. We are just now seeing those monoliths popping up, right?

Once I finished The Shining, I decided it would be worth my time to explore Mr. King’s work a little further. This was not the first of his books I had enjoyed and surely Stephen could satiate my story needs. Ah, alliteration, the birthplace of tongue twisters. The thing is, I listened to 3 books consecutively at that time, the other two being of non-fiction subjects. And this, for me, was a lot of “reading”. It made my brain feel like mush. Like the feeling after you finish a huge test for which you crammed. As far as books are concerned, I probably don’t go through more than 3 or 4 in a year unless you count children’s books which I already did. Not really, but counting them would go a long way in padding my stats. All of this is to set up what I started this week. It.

Let’s put away the silly puns. Let’s throw out the script of Who’s on First. Leave the It humor to podcasters.

I decided a few days ago to read It on audiobook. Even though there is a lot to be said about the start of this book and all of the major stuff that is happening almost immediately, I don’t plan to spoil anything here. I know, the novel has been around since shortly after I was born. Some might say it’s fair game at this point to disclose anything and everything that lies within. But I know my readers like to follow along with the things I write about. They sometimes take it as a personal challenge to seek out anything I make reference to. Maybe you haven’t read this book yourself. Maybe you haven’t seen the movies dedicated to this piece of work. I haven’t. I tend to be about 35 years behind on popular books and about 5 years behind on movies. If you, like me, have not read this book, I cannot really blame you. And here is the point of today’s piece. Wait for it. Length! Holy shitbirds, this book is long. Remember when I mentioned The Shining audiobook was around 16 hours? When I opened It in the app, the time showed 46 hours. What?! Yes, it was worthy of two punctuation marks. 46 hours. That’s like 2 days. 46 hours. That’s like a full week of work. 46 hours. That’s like listening to The Doors “The End”. 46 hours. That’s like the time it takes for one cricket match.

There’s no need to panic now. I’m sure I can finish It. Maybe by the end of 2021. Maybe by the time the first human lands on Mars. Maybe by the time my first book is published. I’m sure I can manage It.