Please read in the voice of Vincent Price for maximum atmosphere and enjoyment.

Twas a night that started like any other. 

His chores made finished, his daily work done.

He fell unto his couch, his cares numbered, none.

His wife sat in peaceful slumber, for she was a worn out mother.

His eyes blinked slowly at the screen he was beguiled,

The characters moved and talked at their play.

He sat with a zombie’s posture, fixed no sway.

Unassuming the night and soon he would be riled.

Chirp, a chirp, from where did it sound?

Chirp, a chirp, where could it be found?

He bounded through the halls with all fervor.

Intently he listened for the infernal noise.

In haste, in silence he stepped upon some Lego toys.

Inversely came his guttural yell, and he could pass no further.

In time, through curses he hobbled to his feet.

His threats vowed punishment to those who wronged him.

His wife bid he shut his mouth else she would prong him.

And a wise man is he who recognizes defeat.

Chirp, a chirp, from where did it sound?

Chirp, a chirp, where could it be found?

A chirp, a chirp, for Hell were they bound?

A reserve he kept, of batteries, the voltage nine.

Taking one he flew to the stairs, the direction of Hades he went, down.

He smiled replacing the source of power, but then grew a sudden frown.

A lady’s voice warned of error, the mood was not fine.

What portent could be greater than robotic audio statement?

Of gaseous calamity it was told, trouble was impending.

Their doom near, yet no other alarm was heard ascending.

The manual of ownership claimed the unit needed replacement.

Chirp, a chirp, he was driven mad.

Chirp, a chirp, he was once a handsome dad.

A chirp, a chirp, she was smarter than he.

A chirp, a chirp, with both a bachelor’s and master’s degree.