Heart Full of Fur

Love is a kitten that stabs at your feet.
Love is a cat that meows for sink water.
Love is a cat that sits down on your sheet.
Love is a kitten that enjoys bird slaughter.

Love is a feline who paws for a treat.
The zoomies happen when you least expect it.
Corpuscular mammals have an odd internal clock.
Pouncing feet land with a heavy hit.
On your stomach, as you go into shock.

Love is a cat that leaves carcasses at your door.
Love is a cat that trips you as you walk across the floor.
Love is a cat that hacks up balls of fur.
Love is a cat, of that I am sure.

Hot Dog Love

Even though she said it,
Even though it’s true,
I didn’t know just what to think,
Or even what to do.

When you ask someone,
A person who you idolize,
Just what their favorite food is,
The answer may be a surprise.

But if you hear “hot dogs”,
Does that change your mind?
Can things ever go back,
And be the way they were?

Could you let that slide?
Let is pass?
Let is be?

Could you let it go?
Let it lie?
Let it ride?

No way, I say no.
I don’t really think so.

A Nerd’s Poem

I noticed you were starting on your third breakfast.
At that point, I had not eaten yet.
I was aware you were fond of hobbits,
But not that you followed their dieting habits.

As I think on it more, there arises complication,
It’s not just your frequency of taking meals,
You share much in common with those hobbits,
And I’m not referring to their feet hairs.

You prefer to stay at home,
You don’t care for leaving your plot,
You like to plant a garden,
Towards me, your looks pass judgment a lot.

I imagine you would sneak your way
To a secret convened council,
Look Lord Elrond deep in his Elvish eyes,
And I wish something rhymed with council.

To me you are more like the One Ring,
And I, like Gollum, am bound to you.
Of our love, Peregrin Took may never sing,
But I will always consider you my precious.

Which Is It My Dear?

I know you heard the dog.
It was 5 a.m.
You say you were sleeping as a log,
But you also say you can’t get any sleep.
So which is it my dear?

And you say you can’t hear,
But somehow you seem to catch
Everything I mutter under my breath.
So which is it my dear?

Now I stand by the door.
Did I mention it is 5 a.m.?
In my boxer shorts watching
A dog squeeze out a dump
While one cat hisses at 
The other who attacks my shins
As if they are covered in scuttling mice.

Did you hear that my dear?

I know you hear the alarm.
It was just after 6 a.m.
It was time for the kids to wake.
You know they have school.

You say you were tired from work.
Ooh, Big Man has a tough job.
But you stop by the house
Randomly it seems during the day.
So which is it my dear?

You say you didn’t hear the alarm.
Because you have an ear plug in.
But you say you can’t fall asleep at night
Because you can hear the dog licking her lips.
So which is it my dear?

Meanwhile I guess it is up to me again,
Wake the kids, get their breakfast,
Cue them to get ready for school
Every 3 minutes while the cat
Dips her butt in my coffee.

Did you hear that my dear?

Also, my dad died.

What Movie Should We Watch (A Marriage Story)

We could watch The Illusionist.

I would rather drop dead.

How about The Wedding Planner?

How about some staples in my head?

Let’s watch First Blood.

What’s that?

You know, Rambo.

Why didn’t you just say that?

Because that’s not the title.

You know I don’t want to watch that.

Yeah, but it’s a great movie.

Keep talking and I’ll draw first blood.

You mean Rambo?

(Both sit on opposite ends of the couch staring at phones for the rest of the evening.)

Open Door Policy

Why is the door locked?

I didn’t lock the door.

You always lock the door when you come in.

I really don’t remember locking the door this time.

Well, no one else did it so it must have been you.

I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that I did that.

You make me sick.

They are working on a vaccine.

Not fast enough.

If only you could develop that special germ fighting system the bad guy in Lethal Weapon 2 had…

What are you talking abo…

Diplomatic immunity.

(Silence)

Pretty funny, huh?

It doesn’t even make sense. What does you making me sick have to do with South African diplomats?

I need to remember to stop locking that door every time I come in.

Choices Arose

Roses are red,
But that’s not all,
Apparently they can be purple, pink or burgundy,
Also lavender, salmon, orange, peach and white,
But also cream, green, blue and black.
And I guess according to some internet sources 
There are a bunch of other color options as well.
I have decided not to research violets.