Forty. What an age to be. One that is met with bemusement by older folks who will comment that you are “a baby” while the kids will say “you’re old.” What is a person to do? Well, if you are a man, and I happen to be one according to a few trusted sources, you have an important decision to make. There are two options that lie ahead in a man’s life, each with its own consequences.

First, you can pick midlife crisis, the oft chosen and less stable (though more predictable) choice. This will lead to one of several possibilities including, but not limited to divorce, purchase of a frivolous car, sudden changes to one’s appearance, etc.

I was not in favor of that choice as I looked ahead to my birthday. However, I had no clue that any other options existed. That was until I was deeply entrenched in the other, more stable, and much, much cooler pathway. Yes, gather round my kith and kin. Let me regale you. Forty need not to be met with major life changes. Meet it with open ears. That’s right. My choice in turning 40 was to get really into Steely Dan.

Steely Dan wasn’t new to me. Growing up listening to a fair share of classic rock, a few of their songs would come up here and there. But let’s be honest, I had a narrow and shallow experience of their music. I enjoyed it, but I wasn’t seeking it out. That would have been something though. I imagine that would instantly turn you into one of those kids that people describe as being “an old soul.”

Now, like the cat lottery of the universe that sends the furry critters to new homes and unsuspecting victims people, those indescribable jazz-rock fusion tones found me and found me well.

How would one even begin to speak of them? Would that I have the things poets can say goodly. Maybe I should try my hand at such florid prose, throw caution to the wind and leave my art’s stain on the everlasting page of the internet.

Steely Dan
by Me

Instruments meet in a languid dance,
Write something here and rhyme with dance,
Write more things once you have some thoughts,
I could really go for some fries or tots.

Please stand by for a serving of hyperbole. Steely Dan is what it’s like to be forty. The flashy stuff of earlier years of life is gone. Enjoying music is no longer going to a concert and banging your head or losing your hearing. Life is about sitting next to a home stereo setup and sipping a beverage, maybe even a black cow. A word of caution though; if you go on and on about them, you may end up reelin’ in the years.

You might think it’s a bit late to delve into a band like this, given your age. Remember though, they always say better late than never, but they also say never say never again. They say never put off until tomorrow what you could do today and yet it took me over a week to write this (hold your applause). Technically, since it is today now, I haven’t broken the rule of this proverb or have I?  You don’t have to worry about my mental health because I’m…never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. Yes, you’ve been rolled by a Rick.

Even though the midlife crisis option is clearly more obvious in its consequences, don’t sit back in your leather club chair without care my friends. Consider this:

Threat Levels Of Dan (in gaming terms)

1. Listen to Steely Dan alone or with someone that has already voiced their interest. -Fine. +2 to Charisma (that’s “rizz” kids), Max Aura
2. Blast it through your household when you are the only one who likes it. – Alienate your spouse, child(ren), pets, neighbors. All creatures in a 100 ft radius become Frightened, -2 to Persuasion checks
3. Talk about it whenever you see anyone. – Stop being invited to any social gatherings, events, be served papers, see your child(ren) on the weekends only. Total Party Kill (with you being the only one in your party)

With writing this piece, I have placed myself dangerously close to level C. I did it for you, guys. Rikki don’t lose that number, because I might need a friend once everyone else in my life is gone.

A couple final unrelated thoughts I would like to share:

Listening to Steely Dan feels like Miles Teller’s character from Whiplash lived in a parallel universe in which his teacher was supportive and even-tempered, thus he achieved peak musical skill without conflict.

“Do It Again” sounds like the desert level, as in World 2 of Super Mario Bros. 3 and I don’t know how to explain that. In that song, I feel like they use one or more instruments we learned about in grade school music class from the percussion family. There was some kind of shaker device. No, it was not the maraca. Those instruments did not seem cool at the time, but now I wonder why I was never invited to the club.

Cholesterol.
The hairline fading back.
Middle age, a wonderful thing.

Say it again…