Yes folks, ‘Tis the season.  Among the hustle and bustle of December, we find ourselves standing in packed stores staring at the gift card rack and trying to decide if they can count as real presents.  We browse the almighty web tucked under our blankets on the couch sipping hot chocolate in the light of our Christmas trees wondering what Grandma would like since she refuses to answer by direct questioning and because you made her a photo album last year, you need to find a new idea.  On the other hand, you know she will buy you at least one thing that you didn’t want, need, or ask for and that’s not to your taste, but you will smile and be thankful while secretly planning to return it to the store as soon as you research who sells the product because she didn’t give you a gift receipt.  Diabolical old ladies.

It’s also the time of year when many of us get out our Christmas movies.  There are a number of options here, many which the majority of us could agree on as great seasonal choices, but that is not what I am planning to talk about.  That’s right.  We are here to talk about Die Hard, the classic Christmas film.

Very few things in the world can get to people heated to the point of blows more quickly than debating whether Die Hard should be considered a Christmas movie or not.  Except maybe the pronunciation of GIF, to which the answer is “jif” like the peanut butter.  I digress.  A recent poll claimed to end the debate because the majority of people polled felt it was not a Christmas movie.

Should I just concede the point and move on with my life?  Never.

First, to look at this poll a little closer one could glean a couple of important pieces of information.  It was based on people voting from the UK.  I thought we separated ourselves from them 400 years ago because we didn’t want to be told what to think.  And their taste in films is not something that we always share.  Also, polls are notorious for small sample size.  If you don’t get enough people to vote, it cannot be representative of millions of people’s opinions.  And although the UK uses the pound and it’s worth more, it still doesn’t provide big enough numbers.

Next, to explain why Die Hard is a Christmas movie, we need to look at what criteria makes something a “Christmas movie”.

The Johnson Ho Ho Ho Criteria:

1. Takes place on or within the immediate vicinity of December 25.   I think we can agree this is important.  While most un-debated Christmas movies include an element of Christmas day, a movie does not have to be excluded if it takes place in the vicinity of December 25.  Example: Christmas Vacation.  It is my understanding in that film it is Christmas Eve when the climax of the SWAT team crashing into the home and resolution on the front lawn occurs.  I base this observation on the fact that the youngest kids are still awake and I would expect the time of these events to be between 9 and 11 pm.  Joy to the world…we can agree this is a Christmas film.

2. A soundtrack with Christmas songs included.  Die Hard features Winter Wonderland, Christmas in Hollis, Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!, and a brief whistling of Jingle Bells.  Sounds like a seasonal film to me.  Hark! The herald angels sing…Die Hard is a Christmas film.

3. A Christmas party or celebration.  In fact, the very reason our title character was at the scene of the crisis was to attend a work Christmas party with his separated wife.  He mentions being surprised a Japanese company would celebrate Christmas.  It’s beginning to look a lot like…a Christmas movie.

4. Elements of Christmas decorations and lights.  I believe there are festive Christmas trees, decorations, at least one prominent Santa hat, a Christmas present given to Holly, etc.  I believe if you look closely enough, you’ll see that Christmas is all around…them in that movie.

5. Miscellaneous Christmas things.  Characters say “Merry Christmas” a number of times.  The words “Ho Ho Ho” are written out in a red color on a t-shirt.  Christmas movies sometimes involve parts of the family who normally don’t normally see each other (he is coming to visit with his wife and kids). Theo offers a version of “Twas the night before Christmas”.  Hans mentions miracles happening around Christmastime.  Angels we have heard on high…that this counts as a Christmas movie.

6. Does the movie feel like the Christmas season?  This is the most subjective part of the standardized criteria I have just invented which will soon be used to judge any movie that claims ties to Christmas across the world.  And my answer to this particular question of the criteria is “yes”.  It is a Christmas tradition at my house to watch Die Hard during the month of December.  And as great a movie as it may be, I usually don’t watch it during other parts of the year because it feels like it belongs with the Christmas season.  Bells will be ringing…when people start considering Die Hard a Christmas movie.

I could go on with the boring details of comparison to other Christmas movies, but plenty of people have done that across the internet.  Die Hard may not be a traditional Christmas movie, mostly because of all the violence, language, and drug use, but I think it brings a delightful balance to the peaceful holiday season.

Please share your thoughts on Facebook to the following:
Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?  (if you answer no, please show your work)
How old is Bruce Willis during this movie? (the object is to guess without using IMDB)